America’s Dumbest Criminals … Los Angeles Edition
During my routine check up of the Cosmo lofts, I ran into a regular trespasser. Curious what it takes to be a “regular” trespasser? Well, we have detained him more the 5 times walking around our building and sleeping or hanging out on the roof.
Today was no different. I caught him on the first floor lobby hanging out and when I approached him, he asked me if I wanted to buy a laptop. I thought, “This guy must be high” and for fun I asked “Sure, how much?” He told me $50 dollars for a computer that retails out of the box for around $1200 dollars.
I was about to tell him to get lost when he gave me the gift of a century: The guy hands me $20 dollars. Obviously, I was confused and ask “What is this for? If you want to sell me a computer aren’t I supposed to give you money?”
He then says, “I want to buy some crystal meth!” I laughed for a second and told him, “I don’t sell crystal meth … but if you want to turn around and let me cuff you that would be great.” Best surprise so far: he turned right around and let me cuff him!
I called in LAPD and I told them this guy tried to sell me a laptop that is probably stolen (just an easy guess since he did not have the power cable and he could not turn it on.) When I told the officer that the guy asked to buy $20 dollars worth of crystal meth, the officer asked with a smile, “You don’t do that though, right?” I smiled back and answered with, “Not as far as I am aware.” They took my info and told me to have a good night.
Also, when I called 1877 ASK LAPD and identified myself as a Guardian Angel the operator gave us some props by saying, “We appreciate what you do.”
It’s never a boring day in Hollywood.
Edited by Peter Steeves